BABIES!!!  who doesn’t love babies?  Obviously everyone loves babies.  So pretty smart move focusing on just babies and nothing else.   Thomas Balmes takes us to four different countries to follow the first year of four incredibly cute babies Bayar, Hattie, Mari, and Ponijao.  Bayar is the only boy of the bunch.  There are a few interesting things to note about babies through this study, 1) that although the babies are really small, can’t talk to really gesture, you can see how different their personalities are, and you can actually like (or like not as much) one baby over another.  and yes, I compared, and yes, I came out with favorites; 2) how much the babies adopted what they saw around them as things they would do themselves; and 3) how similar and how different each one of them was based on their environment.  Nothing ground-breakingly new, but still is interesting to view these development of the brand new humans first hand, in an accelerated journey through their first year of life.

I also found myself worried over the safety of some of the babies, but they all turned out fine!  When Bayar looked like he was about to get crushed by a horse‘s hoof, the horse evaded him and he crawled through the horses legs, happy as a plum.

This is a movie focuses on the adorable-ness of the protagonists, but in the context of  the lush scenary and beautiful backgrounds of BayanchandmaniMongolia (Bayar), OpuwaNamibia (Ponijao), San Francisco, US (Hattie), and Japan, Tokyo (Mari).  Best of all, this is currently available on streaming at netflix, if you have a subscription.  An enjoyable film with minimal dialog but plenty of ooh-ing and ahhh-ing…$8

If you heart Babies:

Recommendations from …:

Mad Hot Ballroom
Hero (visually beautiful)
March of the Penguins

Waiting for “Superman”

Just go and see this goddamn movie, aight?  Right now.

This documentary, about the broken (but fixable) education system in America, had a perfect mix of all the right shit: adorable little kids, sensational speakers, educational substance, a strategy for change, and… tears – lots of from.  Uncontrollable – but that’s just me because education reform is close to my heart.  There were moments where I wanted to avert my eyes because I wanted the tears to stop and watching those beautiful little faces were making me cry more.  But the personal stories of each family weren’t the only heartbreaking pieces of the film, just learning more about the state of the American education system was enough make me sob.

It’s not like we haven’t heard this before, but listening to it again evokes a sense of urgency and importance.  Especially when you hear it from the mouth of Geoffrey Canada.  He really must’ve been an amazing teacher because he makes me want to just drop everything and follow his lead because I know he’ll take me to a world of moral fortitude and goodness.  This film has the incredible ability to show you the lives of five children – a peek into their neighborhood, families, and schools – and feel really connected to them, and then turn around a say – you think this is bad?  There are millions more out there.  And it’s so true… $11

If you heart Waiting for “Superman”:

Yolkie’s Recommendations:

Mad Hot Ballroom
Pressure Cooker
The First Year

David Fincher’s The Social Network

O hail no! A movie bout a bunch a white boys doing shit on they computers? A bunch a white boys, prolly Final Fantasy-playin mothafuckas, at Harvard on they computers and Justo from NSYNC is in this shit too? Shit sounds boring as hail son.

And so I was surprise when my boy Scooby-Treat Facebookt me and was all, ‘has you seen this shit about FB? This shit is off tha hook big dawg!’ And I was like, ‘yo you seen it w/o me puto? Who you seen it wit?’ And he wuz like ‘doze niggas Chiya-Pet and Daze-E-Duke.’ And I woz all, ‘nobodyz txted me or nothing. Imma gonna beat yo asses!’

So tha nex day I’m at tha FB movie by myself all pissed like, this is bunk I’m gonna beat Scooby’s ass. And then I wuz like oh shit dis is actually pretty good ya’ll. I mean yeah it’s about all deez crackers and Aryan-looking muthafuckers doing what they do, such as playing on computers and math and wearing their caps backward. But dis wuz some true-life Good Will Hunting shit son. And this FB guy, this Max Zuckercorn guy – he was as much a genius wid hiz mouth as wid hiz brain yo. He be slaying muthafuckas down wif his words like, ‘you only worth my minimum wage of attention you cracker-ass snatch! I’m gonna make yo house into my ping-pong room playa! I showed you and I showed the world! I didn’t use your codes puto!’

And then JT be all like, ‘yeah dawg you tell um go fuck theyself. Now I gotta snort my cocaine rocks out this white girl’s belly buttons.’ And then this Eduardo cat be like, ‘I’m gunna fuck you up JT. Oh shit!!! My hot Asian girlfriend is lighting my trash can on fire!’

So in sum they wuz more action than I predicted. I mean, no niggaz died!!! But FB is not a life/death matter so actually that shit’d be whack if someone did get blasted all a sudden. You’d be like bitch please, you know none a these honkeyz be packin heat in they JanSports. But this did show a battle of da words, a battle of da intellects. And a battle wit Zuckercorn’s own loneliness of da soul. Also my man from NIN be layin down tha hot trax fo this. And his beats be mad bawler yo! Trent you a sick genius.

And that crazy Asian girl Eduardo passed on – I say damn!!! Girl you need to let a real man holla atchoo!! You fine as hail and you know I likes em a little wild and mentally illin. A little dangerous, a little villainous. Holla . . . $8

If you heart The Social Network:

Recommendations by DJ Gun-Ray
The People vs. Larry Flynt
Boogie Nights

Oliver Stone’s Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Nah dis shit was sore a boring ya’ll. Furst thang this Shy Ledouche character needz to learn how to act fo true. Cuz he’s around some serious cats man. Frank Langella of Frost/Nixon, Josh Brolin of Milk. These guys are fucking for real bomb-ass actors an fo true making Shy Ledouche look like he can’t act fo shiznits (shit peanuts). Frank, when you jumped in front that subway train I shed a little tear for you playa. Nigga was just trying a keep hiz dick hard in this cruel and fucked-up world. I could relate cuz this one time I got fired from my job at Soup Plantation for wearing a fishnet T-shirt. And leaving in anger I dippt my ballz in the raspberry vinaigrette and got hella heat rash son. So actually I hurt my own self worse of all.

Carey Mulligan you not that fine, sorta just a pushover in this one. But in general you a bomb lady. Education, that was tha shit. So keep yo chin up girl! Michael McDougle Goddamn you old as a muthafucka. Everytime I seen you I thought you wuz dead. I be all like, “Whose that white-haired dude? Michael McDougle?! From Coma?! Goddamn I thought he wuz dead.” It’s cool geriatric citizens can still get jobs tho as I support that otherwise you’d prolly just be in some wheelchair, staring at da wallz.

So basically diz movie is about Jews. Josh Brolin is fucking bawler yo. Doing some shady-ass shit starting rumors about Frank (Nixon). So then he all jumps into train, like kersplat fool!! And then LeDouche be all crying like, “I loved you Frank like my father, why’d he have to go squish hisself? I’m gunna get a revenge on you dawg on my muthafuckin motorbike!!”

And then McDougle just got out from da pen and he be all complainin, “No one ever visited me while I was getting my ass taken fools! Now I’m so old and just a lowly author.” And then LeDouche goes to McDougle and be like, “Help me fuck up that nigga Jonah Hex and I’ll help you rip off your daughter for like 100 million dollaz ya’ll.” And I was yelling like, “LeDouche you fucking puto!” And oh yeah old-ass Charlie Sheen was in this too like about 30 seconds. The best part bout it being it only lasted I think about 20 seconds. Goddamn that old piece of shit makes my skin crawlz. Like why are you so fucking tan? Men aren’t sposed to be orange.

Big upz to Josh Brolin, big dawg! You tha man. Oliver Stone tho, I don’t know what da hail you wuz thinking about that ending. That shit was weaksauce. In conclusion this movie was about Green energy and bailouts and Jews having loads of money witch is a racist portrayal of Jews since we know they care about lotz a other things beside making money, such as beanies and some sort a Gefilte fish.

Nah dis shit sore a boring ya’ll . . . $4

%d bloggers like this: