Red

Say what?!! Hella seenya-ass citizens trying a be assassins? Damn Bruce Wilits you ain’t got no range son. Every movie I seen you in you some kind a assassin or cowboy cop. Fax is: Bruce Wilits just loves a be killing niggas off. All that fool knows how to do. Die Hard? Jackal? Nine Yards? And now this Red shit and Wilits still be choking niggas off. You old as hail Bruce – don’t you stop? Bruce, I think you just obsessed wif death yo. Six Senses. Unbreak Yoself. Pup Fiction. You sliced a nigga in haff in that one! You need a get yourself checked by a doctor or a priest or some shits. Or something son!! You need a look on the sunny-side up! Your Moonlighting days is over for truth.

Yo Red why is Morgan Freeman tha first to die? Cause he’s Black?!! You didn’t kill tha Russian and we hate Russians. You didn’t kill Retard Lennie from Mice or Men. Why is it no one else in tha gang got took out? And Morgan you ain’t even go out in a badass way dawg. No kind a blaze a glory or anythang. Just shot dead in some impostors coat. Like, damn . . .

So dis movie sore a boring ya’lls. You seen this shit been done before only wife younger, cooler cats. It’s basically James Bond meets Grumpy Old Men. Or Salt meets Tha Golden Girls. Or Tha Fif Element meets Shawshank Redemption. Except Morgan dies so it’s sadder. So maybe is more like Mr. Holland’s Opus meets In the Line a Fire. So yea dis movie sucks but damn Mary-Louise Parker you fit as hail!! What you want with old-ass, death-obsessed Bruce Wilits for? Prolly for him to get chubby he needs to get medicated as a mothafucker. Roll wit me girlfriend . . . $3

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About fatkidslist
The Fan’s Guide to Avoiding Movies that Suck Eggs and Shelling Out the $5 for Movies that Will Make Your Day

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