Simba’s review: African Cats

I was scolded by my co-writers that I shouldn’t review movies seen under the influence. I can understand this, being high can dramatically change my perception of any experience. When asked to go see this movie, there was no way I was gonna watch this movie sober. So I toked up and it was mind-blowing. Now, mind-blowing isn’t always a good thing. It was mind-blowing to see Disney impose human thoughts onto a lion to say things like: “Gee, my dad is the greatest.” What…..?? My mouth was agape at what was happening before my eyes – it was straight ridiculous. Leave it to Disney to take out any educational value of the nature and turn it into a moral family story. On the other hand, I couldn’t believe how effectively these lions and cheetahs could convey and express human emotion by simple dramatic scores. This made me reconsider acting all together. How is it possible these cheetah cubs could elicit so much sympathy in the shivering rain? They seemed so sad. I kept thinking, “Wow – these cheetahs are gooood.”  And then, “Hey, wait – they just cheetahs!” I came to the conclusion that any shitty actor can get by with a decent dramatic score.

African Cats has a laughable story line of five male lions intent on “overthrowing” the “kingdom” of a “rival” on the other side of river and mama cheetah who tries to protect her cubs that have her “fighting spirit”.  Even though I’m ragging on the story, I have to admit I got caught up in the drama. I got scared sometimes when I thought a “character” was going to get mauled. This movie was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. It seems to have opened an entirely new genre of overlaying a human story to real-life nature footage. The rolling end credits are a testament to this new genre. The credits resembled a John Hughes move where you get the yearbook pictures of all the seniors and a caption of where they are 10 years later. I half-expected bloopers with Fang laughing and breaking character.

As outrageous as all of this sounds, I cannot deny the fact that there is some incredible and skillful footage of beautiful, wild creatures. In one major way, the movie was successful – it made me very interested in learning more about lions and cheetahs.  Even though the movie itself provided very little educational information about these animals, it left me with enough to want to research it myself… $6.

Simba’s Recommendations:

Disneynature: Earth
The Lion King
Disneynature: Oceans

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About fatkidslist
The Fan’s Guide to Avoiding Movies that Suck Eggs and Shelling Out the $5 for Movies that Will Make Your Day

One Response to Simba’s review: African Cats

  1. lamp says:

    this review reminds me of the spike jonze’s commercial for the ikea lamp. I ❤ it.

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