Nicolas Winding Refn’s & Hossein Amini’s Drive

Drive is about perfection. Which is to say PERFECTION is what Drive IS DOING. Ryan Gosling for example has no pores. Pores for him would be a marker of defeat. There is no defeat in Ryan Gosling’s complexion. His complexion is a flawless ecosystem of radiance and coincidental lubrications. Ryan Gosling’s face is in fact an epiphyte. An epiphyte collecting its radiance from the moisture and nutrients in the air and rain and other coincidental detritus.

There is something perfect about watching a cat chase a mouse. Especially when the cat is deranged Albert Brooks armed with many shivs and abalone-encrusted razorblades.

People who saw Anton Corbijn’s The American know it was not perfect. The American did not contain Ryan Gosling for one thing. Well, Ryan Gosling could never be CONTAINED. But The American did not make an attempt to touch Ryan Gosling, did not attempt to CORRAL him, which was its primary mistake. In other ways The American was allowed to share some characteristics of Drive’s perfection. Its sparseness. Its assiduous attention to the movement and pacing of THE SCENE. Its desire to connect lonely souls for momentary alleviations of sufferings. Its desire to tear loved ones apart so as to intensify the sensation of longing. Its longing. Its willingness to produce longing. A longing to break from unsalvageable situations.

Sofia Coppola should sue Drive. For one thing Drive has stolen HER MOVIE from her. They have stolen HER MOVIE and made it better than she could have made it. That is the most painful form of stealing. As when a thief steals your lemons and makes his lemonade. As when a thief steals your girlfriend and puts her on a diet. Drive gives the illusion the narrative is meandering when the opposite is true. Each deviation adds up to the tightly-wound contraption of their narrative.

No Country for Old Men was perfect but not because of Javier Bardem’s haircut. Or was it? Maybe aesthetic perfection can be achieved by making a handsome man very, very ugly.

Oscar Isaac does something ingenious with his role. He saves his role from being easily forgettable. He is his own savior. That is sort of like being Jesus Christ if Jesus only saved one person. And that person was a role in a movie.

Violence – too much? A lot of spurting involved. A lot of spurting and Ryan Gosling stomping his boot through skulls. Skulls are like pumpkins to this guy.

Music. David Lynch thinks music should be very intrusive upon the spell the movie is making. David Lynch also thinks the Transcendental Meditation technique is going to help him levitate. The soundtrack of Drive does seem to levitate and speak above our conscious desires. When I put the Drive soundtrack in my own car I did think I was levitating for a moment, but it turned out I was only driving very slowly up a hill. Then I felt disappointed in the car I was driving. Conversely my car felt even more disappointed I was not Ryan Gosling.

Carey Mulligan is looking good as a blonde.

Slow motion. No one uses slow motion anymore. That is because nothing is perfect anymore except for brevity. But Drive is not afraid of slow motion. So as to prolong brevity. So as to prolong the only scrap of perfection that is offered to us.

Best movie out right now . . . $11

If you heart Drive:

Recommendations by Day Gun Sho
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai
Wild at Heart
Punch-Drunk Love

Oliver Stone’s Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Nah dis shit was sore a boring ya’ll. Furst thang this Shy Ledouche character needz to learn how to act fo true. Cuz he’s around some serious cats man. Frank Langella of Frost/Nixon, Josh Brolin of Milk. These guys are fucking for real bomb-ass actors an fo true making Shy Ledouche look like he can’t act fo shiznits (shit peanuts). Frank, when you jumped in front that subway train I shed a little tear for you playa. Nigga was just trying a keep hiz dick hard in this cruel and fucked-up world. I could relate cuz this one time I got fired from my job at Soup Plantation for wearing a fishnet T-shirt. And leaving in anger I dippt my ballz in the raspberry vinaigrette and got hella heat rash son. So actually I hurt my own self worse of all.

Carey Mulligan you not that fine, sorta just a pushover in this one. But in general you a bomb lady. Education, that was tha shit. So keep yo chin up girl! Michael McDougle Goddamn you old as a muthafucka. Everytime I seen you I thought you wuz dead. I be all like, “Whose that white-haired dude? Michael McDougle?! From Coma?! Goddamn I thought he wuz dead.” It’s cool geriatric citizens can still get jobs tho as I support that otherwise you’d prolly just be in some wheelchair, staring at da wallz.

So basically diz movie is about Jews. Josh Brolin is fucking bawler yo. Doing some shady-ass shit starting rumors about Frank (Nixon). So then he all jumps into train, like kersplat fool!! And then LeDouche be all crying like, “I loved you Frank like my father, why’d he have to go squish hisself? I’m gunna get a revenge on you dawg on my muthafuckin motorbike!!”

And then McDougle just got out from da pen and he be all complainin, “No one ever visited me while I was getting my ass taken fools! Now I’m so old and just a lowly author.” And then LeDouche goes to McDougle and be like, “Help me fuck up that nigga Jonah Hex and I’ll help you rip off your daughter for like 100 million dollaz ya’ll.” And I was yelling like, “LeDouche you fucking puto!” And oh yeah old-ass Charlie Sheen was in this too like about 30 seconds. The best part bout it being it only lasted I think about 20 seconds. Goddamn that old piece of shit makes my skin crawlz. Like why are you so fucking tan? Men aren’t sposed to be orange.

Big upz to Josh Brolin, big dawg! You tha man. Oliver Stone tho, I don’t know what da hail you wuz thinking about that ending. That shit was weaksauce. In conclusion this movie was about Green energy and bailouts and Jews having loads of money witch is a racist portrayal of Jews since we know they care about lotz a other things beside making money, such as beanies and some sort a Gefilte fish.

Nah dis shit sore a boring ya’ll . . . $4

%d bloggers like this: