Your Highness

Fresh off an Oscar nomination for James Franco and Oscar win for Natalie Portman, both, alongside Danny McBride from the hilarious mini-series Eastbound and Down, star in the newest Universal comedy, Your Highness, and exemplify how you can pick a great movie one day and your next can be a total, utter dud.  This was the worst movie I have seen in theaters in a really really really really long time.  The only reason I sat in my seat and stayed for the entire thing is literally so I could give a completely objective opinion on this blog and check if there were any redeeming parts to the movie.  There weren’t.

Have you ever seen a comedy where you were just dumbfounded because you couldn’t figure out what was funny and the entire audience had scattered nervous giggles because people are just so uncomfortable?  yup, that was us yesterday.

Question: When did rape and child molestation become something that was funny? Oh, never, that’s right.  Ok, I’m actually totally a fan of some forms of shock humor, Sarah Silverman, for example, I think is hilarious though a lot of people find her offensive.  This movie was just not funny, not well written, and not even that well executed.

To give credit where credit is due, I felt that the main cast did as much as they could with what they were given.  They just didn’t have that much to work with.  Which I completely puzzled by because Danny McBride was one of the executive producers.  Danny!  You’re so funny in Eastbound and Down!  What happened?  Did you have some deep intestinal pain, a hernia perhaps, that pained you so much that you couldn’t channel your inner funny man?  Were you so high and wasted that you didn’t bother checking to see if your comedy was actually funny?  Did anyone actually read the script before joining this cursed mess?  I just completely do not understand what happened, how so much fell through the cracks with such a palate of talented actors…$1

You likely won’t heart Your Highness but in the spirit of providing recommendations

Recommendations from …:
Pineapple Express
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Stuck on you

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Grown-ups

Netflix told me that I would enjoy this exactly 1.5 stars.  I thought to myself, now that seems a little harsh, I don’t think I’ve ever even rated anything one star yet on Netflix, this is mainly because I tend to self-select on things I like.  In retrospect, I should have listened to Netflix.  Grown-ups is just about one of the worst movies I’ve seen in the last year.  So many good things going for it too, great cast, I absolutely love Adam Sandler, and am a fan of Chris Rock and David Spade as well (though haven’t seen either of them for a while).  The cover is funny.  Pudgy adult men men slide down a water slide.  Ingenious.

But I think the fatal flaw of this movie is that it is trying to be too much.  It tries to relate some serious message of how kids aren’t really kids anymore or something, while unsuccessfully trying be funny.  In addition, this film assumes from the get go that we are “in” on all the insults, when the jokes themselves are just inside jokes of making fun of each other not even in a very original or funny.  Unfortunately it all ends up netting out to a film that is very unfunny and very very boring.

The worst part of the whole movie is that the moral of the story isn’t even that great.  The hero, Adam Sandler, is this exceedingly successful Hollywood agent, who has ungrateful spoiled children, and a hot fashionista snobby wife, Salma Hayek.  His other 4 other friends who have not done as well for themselves financially. He is totally unlikeable in the beginning and gets only marginally more likeable throughout the movie, ordering around his maid and yelling to some poor chump on the phone, to pretending his maid/nanny is actually an exchange student cuz he’s embarrassed that she’s around?  The plot culminates to a basketball game where the hero purposefully throws a game he could have easily won in order to give a victory to this guy he feels sorry for, because the other guy is sore about game they lost 30 years ago and works as a short order cook as a townie pizzeria and somehow “needs” the victory more.  Talk about seriously condescending and this is somehow supposed to redeem him or something for being an asshole the rest of the time?  If you’re confused, believe me, I’m right there with you.

You’d think with so much comic genius they would have been able to put something half-assed together, but it’s not smart or slap stick or goofy or anything.  It just is.  and it is for far too long.   It was one of those movies that made me think, holy crap, I paid practically nothing for this since it was part of my streaming netflix deal, yet that was clearly too much, and definitely one of those movies where you wish you could just get your two hours back….$1

If you heart Grown-ups

Recommendations from …:
Spanglish
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
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