Your Highness

Fresh off an Oscar nomination for James Franco and Oscar win for Natalie Portman, both, alongside Danny McBride from the hilarious mini-series Eastbound and Down, star in the newest Universal comedy, Your Highness, and exemplify how you can pick a great movie one day and your next can be a total, utter dud.  This was the worst movie I have seen in theaters in a really really really really long time.  The only reason I sat in my seat and stayed for the entire thing is literally so I could give a completely objective opinion on this blog and check if there were any redeeming parts to the movie.  There weren’t.

Have you ever seen a comedy where you were just dumbfounded because you couldn’t figure out what was funny and the entire audience had scattered nervous giggles because people are just so uncomfortable?  yup, that was us yesterday.

Question: When did rape and child molestation become something that was funny? Oh, never, that’s right.  Ok, I’m actually totally a fan of some forms of shock humor, Sarah Silverman, for example, I think is hilarious though a lot of people find her offensive.  This movie was just not funny, not well written, and not even that well executed.

To give credit where credit is due, I felt that the main cast did as much as they could with what they were given.  They just didn’t have that much to work with.  Which I completely puzzled by because Danny McBride was one of the executive producers.  Danny!  You’re so funny in Eastbound and Down!  What happened?  Did you have some deep intestinal pain, a hernia perhaps, that pained you so much that you couldn’t channel your inner funny man?  Were you so high and wasted that you didn’t bother checking to see if your comedy was actually funny?  Did anyone actually read the script before joining this cursed mess?  I just completely do not understand what happened, how so much fell through the cracks with such a palate of talented actors…$1

You likely won’t heart Your Highness but in the spirit of providing recommendations

Recommendations from …:
Pineapple Express
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Stuck on you

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127 Hours

I thought wuz kinda sum pussy-ass sheet. Weaksauce son! I saw Black Swan earlier thiz week and that bizniz wuz intense as a muthafucka. I cried son! Twice and then hid in the closet! Damn if you want a watch some nightmarish as hail, thriller-ass, lezbian drama you gotza watch Black Swan. That ship got deep dawg. Natalie Portnoy – damn that chick got straight-up mentally ill!! Hotter than hail too tho all anorexic and shit – not usually into that!! Mila Kunis too aye! yai! yai!!

Not 127 Hours tho all the color drained out my nuts on this one. Furst ya’ll James Franco should not be in this shit. I’ve sized that nigga up and he would mos def not have tha sack to do this. Franco is a writer and a poet and sculptor and all sorts of gay shit. No man who writes poetry has the fuckin inner chi, the inner cojones to cut they own arm off. Franco should stick to comedy and Gucci commercials yo. I mean he wuz good in Milk but what actor can’t play a gay guy – the squirrel doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

Secondary – I’m axing myself why dit I just pay ten dollar to watch a guy stuck in a boulder for two hours. Cuz he cut his arm off at the vary end? O Hail No this shit did not warrant a movie about some hippie fo sho!! Maybe like a segment on YouTube. Some Double Rainbow kind of attention. But Danny Boyle you should know better I mean didn’t you do Slumdog? Slumdog bitch! Yo watching your talent here. Better than Harry Potter but not near as good as Black Swan holla . . . $7

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