Friends with Kids

Sometimes I need a movie like this to really motivate me into writing.  I saw it and I thought, the People need to know!!  The People being, two people who read this blog.  Myself being one of them, and I don’t even read it much.  Friends with Kids is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time.

Friends with Kids features a good chunk of the Bridesmaids cast including Kristen Wiig, Jon Hamm, Maya Rudolph, and Chris O’Dowd, yet using none of their talented humor and charm.  Ed Burns and Megan Fox are beautiful props used to reveal the meaning of love. Writing/director/actor Jessica Westfeldt stars as a woman in her late-thirties who decides to have a baby with her best friend played by Adam Scott.  They decide to irreverently have the baby, while cleverly evading the calamities of marriage that have befallen their friends (see Bridemaids cast) – or so they think… dun dun dun!

Westfeldt wrote this story thinking she was creating a clever twist in modern day romance.  But this love story has been written – so many times. It’s akin to writing a love story about star-crossed lovers, but replacing the boy with a goat to spice up the story.

The result – absolutely conventional and boring.  I was cringing at the complete lack of effort placed in this story.  Westfeldt desperately tries to create an edgy story, but ultimately, traditional values of monogamy, true love, and family win out anyways.  Surprise, surprise… $2

If you heart Friends with Kids

Recommendations from Yolkie:
Kissing Jessica Stein

Friends with Money
Knocked Up

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Li’l Fatass’s Top 5 of 2011: Paul Feig & Kristen Wiig’s Bridesmaids

#4: It is hard seeing your friends growing older. Not keeping old friends. But literally SEEING them. Looking into their fat faces. Pretending not to notice their coarse, gray hairs jangling around up there. You think, God they are so disgusting. How can they live with themselves? Why aren’t they crying? I am crying for you! You think, am I really such a piece of garbage to them they don’t even put on decent clothes when they answer their door? Look, he’s wearing the same sweatpants he wore three days ago when we went to Cold Stone Creamery and he ate enough cake-batter ice cream to fill up a sleeping bag.

Then of course there’s the other side to it. Where it’s hard for your friends to see you. Hard for them to say your name without wincing. Hard for them because you won’t eat anywhere you don’t have a coupon for. Hard for them because the last time you stayed over at their house you got drunk and suggested an orgy. And when they wouldn’t take their clothes off you got belligerent and told them to get you a gauntlet so you could slap them in the face with it.

Kristen Wiig is getting older. There is no denying she is getting older and will someday be dead. But before that happens she is going to make a little noise. She is bringing her Jets with her and her Jets are making a little noise. Do you think Tina Fey hates Kristen Wiig’s guts? Because they are both funny and oddly pretty in the same way? There is such fierce competition out there between smart but awkward, Jewy women. But I like to dream they are pals. I like to dream Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler are great pals with each other. And they go to lunches together and eat yogurt or whatever funny women eat. And they say, we are really just as good as men at being friends. At being friends and at being funny. And even though everyone knows that is not true – we let them believe it is true. In that moment. Over a lunch of yogurts and possibly some grapefruit. Friendships are worth fighting for. Fighting for it until you are rolling on the floor, throwing fistfuls of sand in your enemy’s eyes! That is what this movie and every movie is about. Except Walt Disney’s African Cats. That movie is about lions. And rape . . . $13

Paul Feig & Kristen Wiig’s Bridesmaids

If you like wasting your money and your life and your brain particles and your soul then you should probably go watch Thor or Priest or the newest iteration in the Pirates franchise. Most adult Americans are severely impaired which is why fairy tale movies are the highest grossing at the box office. Foreigners who keep abreast of our film statistics visit American theaters expecting to see droves of full-grown men and women wearing helmets and diapers and attended by “helpers” – the “helper’s” main duty being to dab drool from an American’s spastic limbs.

But the problem with most Americans is not that they are retarded. The problem is they are misinformed and sometimes Redneck (there are always going to be a few Rednecks to anchor down our curve – that cannot be helped and therefore we shouldn’t apologize for it). A lot of money – billions of dollars in fact – have been spent trying to convince you that Thor and Pirates will satisfy all your entertainment and spiritual needs. But I fail to see how that is even remotely possible. How does the average American, especially one that is fat, unemployed, uneducated, impotent, etc. relate to a viking from outer space who dresses like he is going to Halloween party where he bought both the Tron and Power Rangers costumes? Why do Americans love the idea of pirates? And why is our most beloved interpretation of a pirate a hobo Johnny Depp decked-out in garb from the Renaissance Fair and a bandana he stole from a Mexican basketball player? Real pirates look like Ethiopian rapists because they are. If an Ethiopian rapist and Captain Jack Sparrow ever came face to face I’m pretty sure we know who is taking a walk on the brown side.

This is a ridiculously long tangent to get to why Bridesmaids is the best movie this year so far. Not only because it is the most entertaining film – but because a tremendous sincerity is paid to the treatment of friendship and sex and romance and frankly – the socioeconomic divide. Now I know what some of you are thinking – how can sincerity be paid to the topic of female friendship when we all know attractive women are incapable of maintaining genuine friendships, especially with other women?

First of all – the women in Bridesmaids are not so attractive. I mean they are pretty in that slightly overripe, white-girl way. But now you are thinking – well I even know ugly women who can’t hold down a single true friend. Forget that myth. Forget the trite, unrealistic portrayals of female friendships (i.e. Sex in the City – portrayals probably written by gay guys and women who don’t have any friends) that came before.

Bridesmaids is wholly original in its focus on a competitive but ultimately enduring female camaraderie. And if your friends were as funny or as winning or as fiercely loyal as the ladies here – you would never doubt female friendship again. Kristen Wiig is also the best thing in panties on the big or small screen today . . . $13

If you heart Bridesmaids:

Recommendations by Quispy
Lovely and Amazing
Adventureland
Whip It


Away we go

I had a hard time writing this review. I don’t really have anything to say about this movie.  It’s kind of like a pregnant version of Garden State, with not-quite-as-likeable characters.  Speaking of Garden State, does Dax Shepard from Parenthood (possibly better known from Punk’d) remind anyone of Zach Braff?  Maybe it’s just me.  Back to the matter at hand…

I mean, I love John Krasinski, so of course I thought he was likeable, but far more likeable in the office.  The girlfriend, played by Maya Randolph, bordered somewhat irritating.  not quite irritating, but almost.  It had quick, fast, witty dialogue, as you might except from David Eggers and his wife, who co-wrote the screenplay, was amusing, entertaining and passed the time, but besides that was kinda bleh.  Forgettable and unmemorable, except in the fact that it inspired me to write my own movie about an early 30 something that travels around the country like a vagabond, searching for the perfect place to live, we’ll see how that turns out.  In essence, it was not bad, but not great.

 

I wanted to write a review about this movie because I had such high hopes for it.  It has a kinda indie flavor, fun actors, is about travel so i thought I’d really like this.  Redeeming factors, besides John Krasinski was a hilarious Maggie Gyllenhaal and Allison Janney.  I also happen to love Catherine O’Hara so it was nice to see her in a toned down version of her much reprised slightly offbeat and cooky mother figure.  It was sweet, and was fine, but fell short of expectations…$4

If you heart Away we go:

Recommendations from …:
Garden State
Wristcutters
Juno

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