Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris

Nobody likes you Owen Wilson go away you’re stupid! You’re annoying, no one likes yr face. It is too surprised and Jewish. Too incredulous. You are Cameron Diaz but worse because there is a strong possibility you are hiding a penis. Cameron Diaz may be hiding a penis but that is only a slight possibility. It seems like if she did have a penis she would at least be funny. But now yr stupid-ass Cameron Diaz comparison is getting me off topic.

Midnight in Paris is the sort of film a director makes toward the end of his career when he wants to commune with all his heroes. In my opinion no one does this better or more lovingly than Woody Allen – a guy completely unashamed to share his most precious influences (i.e. where he has been stealing from). Ingmar Bergman for ex. Or in the case of Midnight – Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Pablo Picasso . . . Allen is a director with balls enough to blatantly imitate and physically embody his idols as a form of praise. No one re-exhumes the dead like he can.

Allen has also be known to heap praise upon the cities he is shooting. Midnight makes an argument for Paris as utterly wonderful which I find admirable since I always envisioned Paris as having nothing but that rich food and heavy sauces, sidewalks littered with dog shit, and snooty people. Allen uses the landscape of Paris to his advantage, cramming the message that the city is chock-full with gorgeous art and architecture. Easy to forget having no geography, easy to forget to appreciate living in America – the most unabashedly generic nation on earth (esp. between the coasts).

Rachel McAdams is as startlingly beautiful as ever. She has undeniably become one of the great actresses of her generation. Michael Sheen superb as always. Owen Wilson forgettable and unnecessary – a missed opportunity for Allen not to have replaced him with a more interesting actor – I would have gone with James Franco. Younger, funnier and more literate. I’d say the performance of the film belonged to Corey Stoll who created a comical, commanding and charming interpretation of Hemingway.

Not the filet of Allen’s catalog. A little too magical and a little too little at stake. But he still continues to be one of the most ingenious and undeniably the most distinctive filmmaker today . . . $8

If you heart Midnight in Paris:

Recommendations by DJ Cheet
The Purple Rose of Cairo
Steven Shainberg’s Fur
Michael Winterbottom’s 24 Hour Party People

Little Fockers

Alright, so I think the funniest quote I have seen about Little Fockers is the following:

“‘I bet the Robert DeNiro of ‘Taxi Driver’ would shoot the Robert DeNiro of “Little Fockers””

Or really Robert DeNiro of any other movie.  Seriously.  This movie was not that funny.  I mean, honestly, I didn’t really go in expecting a ton, but it’s the same stale jokes, that were funny the first time around, but not as funny the third time around.  Character development: none.  Everyone was just annoying as hell.  Ok, so I admit, a few chuckles here and there, but based on the star-studded cast, holy crap this movie was way overpaid for.

Jessica Alba, as always, was hot, but her character is RIDICULOUSLY annoying, so not a great addition to the already overpaid cast.  Which is amazing cuz honestly I love Jessica Alba.  Like Dark Angel Jessica Alba was totally someone I wanted to be friends with.  She was chill, hot, and a genetically engineered killing machine.  A good friend to have.

But back to the movie, it wasn’t great, wasn’t as terrible as Last Action Hero, so all in all, I rate it a $1 movie…

If you heart Little Fockers:

Recommendations from …:
Meet the Parents
Meet the Fockers
Tropic Thunder

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