Harry Potter & the Deathlier Hallows

Harry Potter died in his sleep. People say that is the most desirable way to go. I think that is because the dying person is under no obligation to put up a good fight. Putting up a good fight sounds like a painful endeavor. Putting up a good fight also implies a person must ultimately succumb to the inevitable. No one would say, Harry Potter put up a pretty good fight against that serial rapist, and as a result of pretty good fight he avoided being raped. No. The correct conclusion based on that diction is, Harry Potter put up a pretty good fight, gouged the rapist’s eye, clawed at the rapist’s cheek, bit the rapist’s hand, but ultimately sustained severe anal injuries as a result of his brutal rape-attack. If a person is attacked in their sleep they are not even consciously aware a pretty good fight is warranted. They cannot be held responsible for suffocating or being maimed or shot through a pillow. It is difficult to determine whether dying in your sleep is a cowardly act or not. Certainly wishing so is cowardly. There is also the matter of pooping in the pants following. But that is a matter of all dying – cowardly or brave. Amy Winehouse died in the most desirable way as far as I can tell. So much joy was pumping through her veins her fucking heart exploded.

The point is Harry Potter has a message and that is it doesn’t matter how much power a person possesses. Doesn’t matter how much suffering they have endured, how many loved ones have been sacrificed. It doesn’t matter if you are chosen or unchosen. It doesn’t matter if there is magic in your life or not. You will still end up a gross old schmuck with modest clothes and ugly sideburns. You will still end up with a big, fat wife and cowardly children. You will end up on a train platform with your equally unimpressive friends crying tears onto the heads of their retarded children. Harry Potter ultimately embraces what is ordinary and pathetic and boring at the core of human existence. And that is what makes Harry truly heroic. Anyone can seem heroic chopping heads and battling wizards and slinging dwarfs and waving his flaccid wand around. But only Harry Potter can make achieving the very average, the very center of the curve, seem like an immensely difficult and heroic act . . . $5

If you heart Harry Potter and the Deathlier Hallows:

Recommendations by Cheet Cheet
Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away
Timur Bekmambetov’s Night Watch
Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy